Arizona Diamondbacks relief pitcher Archie Bradley

(Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports)

The Incredible Story Of A Relief Pitcher Pooping His Pants Before Entering The Game

He says he "can’t believe I’m telling you this" and we couldn't believe it either.

July 05, 2018 - 5:12 pm
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This story is probably more than you'd ever want to know about the life of a Major League Baseball player, but it's just so outlandishly funny. Archie Bradley, a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, told a story on Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast about the time he had a very ill-timed bowel movement. 

In case you're not able to listen to the whole thing, the transcript is below. 

"I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit, and as a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees. I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.

It’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually (expletive) my pants. Like, right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh,’ like I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’

“So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially… I did check the mirror. White pants, we’re at home. I actually told my teammates. I stepped out of the bathroom, ‘Hey, am I OK? I just (expletive) myself. I’m about to go in this game.’ They didn’t believe me until they, unfortunately, saw the mess in the bathroom because I didn’t have time. I had to go in the game.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning, and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just (expletive) myself.’ They didn’t believe me, and then the bullpen came in and they’re like ‘Oh my god, you have to see this.’ … I just felt awkward, uncomfortable and just gross.”